What’s in a name? You might well ask and our friends over at Co-operative Pet Insurance have been doing some research. Specifically they’ve been looking at what makes a popular name for your pampered pets and they’ve pulled the most popular names from the pets they currently cover. The trend has moved far from the cliches of the past. In 2017 Tiddles and Rover simply won’t do. Your pet’s name says something about you and will often reflect your interests or personality.

So let’s see what they found. Let’s start with the most popular names on their database. There are some old favorites in here although Andrew was nowhere to be seen. It’s nice to be unique. Here are the Top 20:

NameGenderCount
OscarMale146
CHARLIEMale134
AlfieMale120
PoppyFemale114
BellaFemale97
MOLLYFemale88
LeoMale81
TILLYFemale80
DaisyFemale75
MaxMale73
LolaFemale72
MiloMale72
GEORGEMale70
ROSIEFemale70
MontyMale68
HARRYMale65
ARCHIEMale63
LilyFemale63
JasperMale62
MillieFemale61

So far so normal. But there’s a certain breed of cat owner who can’t settle for the ordinary. For them the opportunity to name their cat is a chance to get creative. Or mad. Mostly mad if we’re honest. Have a look at some of these:

1Delilah Marshmallow

This one seems less “cat name” and more “word association game”. Delilah seems perfectly normal but Marshmallow takes it to another level. I’m imagining a giant puffball of a puss leaving a trail of white fluff wherever it goes. The alternative is that this cat is owned by a human with the surname Marshmallow. Yes. That has to be it.

2Sir Isaac Mewton

Now it should be obvious by now that I’m a cat person. I think cats are cute, clever and provide their human companions with all sorts of benefits. But even I don’t think a cat is capable of formulating the laws of thermodynamics. My guess is that this most academic of felines quickly had his name shortened to Izzy.

3Galaxy Defender

I’m not even sure what to make of this if I’m honest. I *think* it refers to a line of toys but I’m not sure. Either way it’ll make for some sideways glances when you call his name from the back door.

4Jingle Bells Abracadabra

The mind boggles. This is bordering on animal cruelty. Jingle Bells by itself sets my teeth on edge as I write this in mid-March. Christmas things that aren’t at Christmas are inherently evil. And then they tack on the magical incantation ABRACADABRA just to confirm the insanity. This cat is permanently rolling its eyes.

5Mr Rochester

Ah yes. Jane Eyre. A classic. I like the thinking here. If I had my way all cats would have names from Dickens novels. How could you resist a cat named Mr Jingle? Rochester is an interesting choice though. A troubled and intimidating man who locks people in the attic. This cat’s owners better have eyes in the back of their head.

6Captain Woof

You know this cat is looking at their human askance and saying “Oh man, really? Come on”. Captain Woof is a cat that’s forever sighing. Always disappointed in those around him he’s resigned to always being the most sensible one in the room. Captain Woof is the designated driver. His humans are passed out on the back seat.

7Halloumi

Co-operative Pet Insurance’s data reveals that an incredible number of people put no more thought into naming their cat than “what would I really like to eat/drink right now?”. And so we end up with cats called mango Chutney, Guinness and Halloumi. The food and drink motif is bad enough, to be named after the squeakiest of cheeses just seems insulting.

8Kitty Soft Paws

I’m convinced this guy is named ironically. He draws blood as often as I draw breath. His claws cut through human flesh like razors. His scowl is a warning to all mankind: Kitty Soft Paws will hurt you.

9The Claw

The Claw on the other hand wants to cuddle you. Mercilessly so. The Claw dares you to ignore her plaintif miaowing and if you do, you will be attack-hugged and you will not escape. The Claw knows you are weak.

10Fat Boris

I’d rather keep CatConcerns.com free from the fetid stench of politics, but Fat Boris has to be in here. Fat Boris trips up a lot. He bumps into things and goes next door looking for food. He antagonizes the neighbors’ cats and does it all with a smile. You need to keep an eye on Fat Boris.

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